SEXpectations: Church Pastor Gives Straight Talk About Relationships

At New Life Fellowship Church, their mission is to love God, love people and serve the world.  And part of the mission of loving people is being real with people about what they may be dealing with and faced with. It is with that in mind that New Life Fellowship Church Pastor Jermaine Watkins is hosting a six-part “Sexpectations Series” with a fresh take on relationships at the church in Westridge.

“Sexpectation in the simplest form is the expectation that males and females have about sex.  It delves into relationships and is straight talk about the challenges of relationships and the day-to-day aspects of relationships in general,” he said. “The truth is, relationships can be difficult at times.  Even the best relationships go through rough times.  What are the causes?  What are the effects?  Nobody wants to talk about it?” But Watkins decided to address the issue because he said everyone has “sexpectations”.
The first week of the six-week series dealt with the topic “Love at First Sight”.  He said finding the right one can be a task, but that after finding that one, the results he said are amazing.  He also talked to his members about redefining the myth, and about what draws couples together.  And about the qualities that build lasting relationships.  He reminded them that finding the right person is not necessarily love at first sight and talked to them about digging deeper.
“Perfect Seasoning” was the topic of discussion for the second talk.  The non-denominational pastor reminded them that there is a time and season for everything under the sun.  And that it’s important for them to know not only know what season they’re in, but how to handle it.
“We have to understand that whether you’re married or single, there are seasons and it’s important to understand what season you’re in – particularly for singles, understanding that if you’re single to appreciate where you are and to appreciate that season and what God has for you in that season; what it is you need to accomplish in that season so that you’re ready for the next season.
There are so many persons looking for Mr. and Mrs. Right when they are Mr. and Mrs. Wrong.  You have to be the right person in order to find the right person,” said Watkins. Last week, the members of New Life Fellowship Church heard about “Great Sex”.  Watkins spoke to his members about the secrets and components to having great sex.Great sex starts before the bedroom, and it’s not about what you can do in the bedroom, it’s about the emotional and the physical and how they tie together.  And so when the physical is there without the emotional, oftentimes a person would feel empty, even after the act, when it was something that God designed to be fulfilling and for pleasure,” he said.
“Oftentimes if they’re not connected a person can feel empty, robbed, or even cheap, because it was just a physical act.  We want our married couples at New Life to have a great sex life, because it is a sign of a healthy marriage.” Watkins said married couples that have a healthy sex life, and are sexually fulfilled are less likely to step out of their marriage.
“Reconcilable Differences” is the topic on the table for Sunday, October 28.  Watkins will address conflict resolution and speak to them about discovering the root causes of conflict in their relationships and what can be done – if anything at all.
“Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man” is the topic of discussion for Sunday, November 4. “It has been said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, what happens when those two planets collide?,” he asked.
“Sex In The City” on Sunday, November 11, closes out the “Sexpectations Series”.
“I want [my members] to have proper expectations about relationships,” said Watkins of the “Sexpectation Series”. “And to understand that relationships are challenging and difficult and that they have to be prepared for whatever season they’re in – and not get frustrated at the season that they’re in, but to understand and embrace that season and understand that there’s a purpose and a reason for it.”
God’s idea for His people He said marriage and relationships are God’s idea and that He wants the best for His people.  But in order to experience the best people have to find out what God wants for them. “I want people to come away with a greater appreciation about what God’s word says about relationships and marriage and also how they can apply it to their marriage so they can be a better husband, a better wife, a better boyfriend, a better girlfriend, a better person,” said Watkins.
He said people’s “Sexpectations” was a topic that needed to be addressed because people – even believers – live in the real world, and face real world challenges.  And he said he wanted his church to be relevant. “Too often I have to talk about it in private, so I thought if we presented it publicly, that it would not only help those that are dealing with it now and that have come to me, but those who have not yet come to me, to assist them in dealing with the challenges that perhaps they might not want to ask about, but have questions about, because everyone has questions about their relationship… or a relationship they would like to have,” he said.
“It’s Biblical what we’re talking about, but we just put a contemporary modern twist to it so that it can be applicable to people.” And people have been turning out to hear Watkins.  He said their attendance has been encouraging and lets him know that their was a need for the discussion. Watkins, 30, said that the topic of sex is discussed in many churches in a roundabout way, but he said there is a generation that does not want the fluff version, but the real deal, because of what they’ve been exposed to.
“I realized that in order to reach people that weren’t going to church, which was my generation, we had to do something that no one else was doing.  If you want to reach people that no one else is reaching, you have to do something that no one else is doing.  And while there are many great contemporary churches, we just want to be real,” he said.
“It’s not about being vulgar.  There’s a fine line there in being real, that you don’t want to be distasteful, but we want to be relevant and these are issues that real people are faced with.  People are looking for authenticity and relevance, and that’s the type of church that New Life is.  We want to be authentic and relevant.”
New Life Fellowship Church is located in Westridge. Taking the entrance from JFK Drive through the pink walls, take the first right.  The church is on the first property on the right-hand side, the second entrance with yellow walls.
SEXpectations Series: A fresh take on relationships
October 28: Reconcilable Differences. Discover the root causes of conflict in relationships. What can be done at this point… If anything at all!
November 4: Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. It has been said that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! What happens when those two planets collide?
Guardian Lifestyles Editor



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