Playing the victim

The word victim can be likened to a four letter word.  It sounds bad!  Victimization is low and anyone who has ever been a victim, has had to get help in getting back to where they were before they were victimized.  I don’t understand how anyone can get off from traumatizing others.  You have to be the lowest of the low to enjoy that.   Being victimized in any way shape or form is not what anyone needs however, it happens each and every day.

A true victim does not use his or her situation as a crutch.  They try to remove themselves from it and hopefully can get beyond it.  They also don’t mire themselves in the supposed role.  They purposely work long and hard to not be defined by their situation but to become separate from it.

There are others though who enjoy playing the victim role.  Things happen to each of us but we learn from them and try to move on.  I am not saying this is easy because it definitely is not.  Getting yourself from a negative situation to a positive one is really hard.  Depending on what has happened in your life, the steps you might need to take in order to fix your situation vary for each of us.

Playing the victim

We also have to be open and willing to put in the hard work so that we can move effortlessly from the bad to the good.  Oftentimes medical help is needed along with faith, in order to overcome the things that happen in our lives.  Sometimes the trauma is so bad, that we might never be able to overcome it.   In those cases the victim, unfortunately, loses his or her will to fight and once that happens, they are controlled by the trauma.

There are some who never try to get away from the victim role.  These individuals don’t try to take control of their issues.  We somehow get comfortable ‘sitting’ in our situations and use them as excuses not to try.  A part of the victim mentality is simply giving up.  Blaming everyone and everything for no longer wanting to grow.  An example of this is growing up in a home where you were yelled at every day.   Instead of working through those issues as we get older; we in turn copy the behavior and ‘become’ our parents by treating our kids the same.

We have to take responsibility for our actions.  Saying that you treat your child the way you do is because of how you were treated is now a crock.  You are no longer a child and must acknowledge that what happened in your youth does not have to dictate how you live.  This is playing the victim role.  Also, making bad decisions and telling yourself that you do it because you had no positive role models when you were younger is doing the same thing.  Blaming your behavior on others is not only playing the victim role but making it worse by not accepting who you are and working towards making you better.

Playing the victim

Thinking like this keeps us stagnant and not moving forward.  Life is about growth and we must accept who we are by accepting the good parts along with the bad.  Each day should be a work in progress.  Meaning, making the effort to work on our flaws and well as our positives.  There are no perfect beings and life is better when we work at being better.  We can blame our parents when we were children but once we become adults, we must accept our blame and move on our way.  Blaming others for our actions and not accepting that we are the ones who are to blame for them is playing the victim role.  Grow up!

By Janet Chambers

Janet Chambers

I am an author who self publishes.  My books can be found on or my website, Islandgrlbooks.  I also have a weekly blog which is also published on my website. This blog is meant to inspire.   Please feel free to check out my web page and subscribe so than you will have access to my Newsletter with the first publication happening in June.  My books involve LGBT couples who find love in a world that tells them they are wrong to even believe it can happen for them.  I write romance and erotica’s and my couples always find their HEA.




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