We all date at some time in our lives and while some can fill a plane or build a choir with the amount of relationships they have had, others can count on one hand how many persons they have dated.
Regardless of our gender, social class, economic background, or educationaletc., have necessities in dating whether you know what you like or dislike.
“What are essential necessities in dating?”
Your partner is not a mind reader and in their inability to take up that special skill, if you do not speak your mind they will never know your thoughts or feelings. Communication is possibly one of the most important essential components in a healthy relationship as good communication is key. If your partner does not know your likes and dislikes are and what you do appreciate, they will keep doing something you hate or like without even knowing it.
Communication also includes discussing your personal situations, your past, your goals and aspirations, especially when being in a committed relationship.
“You have to feel free to be yourself and not fear the other person’s disgust or lack of acceptance.” – Jessica*, one year relationship.
Compromise & Patience
It’s so much harder to be completely oblivious to your significant other’s feelings or schedule than it was back when you were once single. Sometimes you have to meet your partner in the middle or even lose a few battles; you can see that doing so decreases conflict. This compromising also increases communication and understanding on both sides. Compromise is an essential necessity when dating as it shows that you are considerate and loving of the other person you are in a relationship with.
“Personalities are always going to clash, no matter how much you feel you are in sync. You are going to still have differences in personalities. You have to really learn; it’s like you’re chipping a bit off your old self, you’re not changing but you’re learning to adjust. If you’re really going to get along, say there are some things that really bother you, like you’re sensitive, you are going to probably have to toughen your skin.” – Paula*, two year relationship.
Individuality and Independence
One must have their alone time and time to spend with their friends and family. This time can be used for finding themselves and reflecting and enjoying their hobbies and things they like. Persons in a relationship, although it is a joint effort, should also have independence to make their own decisions, keep their own friends, go where they want, keep their hobbies, and their own money. However, this independence should not be an instance where it becomes problematic or strains the relationship.
“In relationships, in this day and age you’re basically on your own. There are some guys who are controlling, when they are the breadwinners some of them believe they can treat the female any way. Females have to now become independent and cannot rely on the provisions of the man solely.” Regina, less than a year relationship.
Spontaneity & Time Together to Date
Often times couples get too caught up in work and the stressors of life that they forget to have fun and explore together. Also, it is important to have spontaneity in a relationship, surprise them once in a while, that way persons don’t get bored.
Enjoy one’s company. Go on adventures. Encourage and motivate each other. Serenade. Laugh. There is no better person to have a great evening that with your significant other.
“Spending time and having fun. Having variety and not doing the same thing over and over. Like if a couple only does one thing alone, if they can’t find anything else to do, then the relationship is going to die. I have a real friendship with my boyfriend, we enjoy each other’s time and sometimes we have great bonding moments when we read together and the adventures we go on we have a lot of fun. Also add spice to your dating life. Go out more with your significant other. Actual dating is important necessity to dating.” – Brittany*, two year relationship.
Trust is so important in a relationship. It is like the glue that mends the relationship when it gets broken. If you are in the early stages of a relationship, you have to build the trust in your partner from the ground up. If mistakes are made, you need to build back the trust. If you believe your relationship is perfect, you still have to do everything to maintain that trust you have in the relationship so that no doubt manifests.
“You have to be trusting about your significant other, or else you will feel paranoia, even if nothing is happening. You have to make the decision to trust your partner, for the sake of your well-being and the relationship. Otherwise, you both should just cut ties and move on because losing sleep and always feeling distrustful is a horrible feeling.” – David*, three year relationship.
Love & Intimacy
To believe you can love one person the way you do is still one of the untold mysteries of the world. You don’t have to be intimate to have intimacy. Holding, cuddling and making them feel special is one of the best intimacies that couples admit to. To make your significant other feel comfortable is very important as they will trust you more and love you more. If that’s even possible.
“You have to love your person as much as humanly possible. Explore your love and find more ways to love them more each and every day.” – Jeffery*, five year relationship.
What components do you think are essential when dating?
* To protect the identity the names of individuals have been changed.
By Alexandra Daley