Going on a first date can be nerve-wracking. Whether you met your potential interest online or were introduced through mutual friends, it’s not easy getting intimate with someone you hardly know.
Unfortunately, though there’s a pile of advice on the questions you should ask on your first date, no one really talks about what you should and shouldn’t expect from it.
It doesn’t matter if you’re young and inexperienced or well over the age of infatuations because the following ten things will be eye-opening.
So, let’s get straight to them.
10 – It’s awkward for everyone
You’re not the only one with butterflies in the stomach. No matter how many times someone has gone out on first dates, it will always feel weird when meeting someone new.
Remember that meeting prospective future partners is different than making new friends because the former can be very stressful. Though everyone you talk to is an expert when it comes to the love lives of others, most of us are clueless about our own.
So, if you think you’re the only one in the room with jitters, look at the person sitting across from you and feel better because they’re probably juggling with the same feelings.
9 – It may feel like an interview
With everyone suggesting that you should ask as many questions as possible, the conversation may start to feel like you’re being interviewed or vice versa.
Though it is crucial that you get to know the person better because that’s what the first date is all about, you shouldn’t make it mechanical. Throw in some quips, jokes, and real-life examples as you answer and ask questions so both you and your date can get comfortable.
Instead of bringing along a paper with all the questions listed down, make a theme of the things you’d want to know about them.
8 – Put your phone away
Research shows that addiction to cellular devices causes problems in relationships. It’s pretty simple; when you’re with someone, the person in front of you should feel like they are the center of your attention.
So, even if you don’t want to switch off your device, make sure you at least put it away in your purse or pocket, so it doesn’t become a cause of distraction when you’re trying to strike a meaningful conversation.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that just turning over the phone on the table is going to do the trick, because it will be a distraction as long as it is in front of you.
7 – You may not feel an instant connection
First dates are meant to help you to get to know each other better. So, while you may have thought you were compatible while you were chatting away on Facebook or a dating website, things can turn out a lot different.
Think about it. If you’re just going to spend an hour or two tops with the person, that’s not enough time to establish a connection, is it? While love, at first sight, is entirely possible, it is often not practical. It is why you may not feel an immediate bond.
However, if you’re having fun and want to know more about the person, it’s a pretty good sign that things are going in the right direction.
6 – You don’t have to be extravagant
One of the most common mistakes people make when going on a first date is going overboard in trying to impress the other person.
For instance, if you’re a man and your date has left it up to you to decide the venue, don’t try to impress by booking the most expensive restaurant.
Instead, talk to your date about their cuisine preferences and then pick a place that has great food, ambiance, and falls in your budget. Likewise, women shouldn’t go out looking for a new dress and shoes just because they want to look beautiful. Get ready, and be confident, because, in the end, that’s what really matters.
5 – It might not be what you expected
Often, we make a mental picture of someone we’re about to meet even though we don’t know a lot about them. Two things happen when you do this; you’re either surprised by the person who either meets or surpasses your expectations, or, as in most cases, you are disappointed.
The reason for this is because we have a lot of hopes when it comes to our love lives and this leads us to imagine a person who can only be found in romantic novels and Hollywood movies. If you don’t want to be disappointed, the best thing to do is to remain realistic. Try not to think about the person before you’ve met them.
4 – You don’t have to wear uncomfortable clothes
Are friends asking you to wear a dress that you can barely breathe in? Do yourself a favor and stop listening to such advice.
Remember that because it’s your first date, you’ll already be flustered and nervous, and you don’t need to add to it.
Don’t make things worse by taking out those new stilettos for a road test, because while you want to look good, it won’t do to start walking like a penguin in front of your date.
Instead, stick to clothes that make you feel and look beautiful and keep comfort a priority above everything else. Even a genuine leather jacket over casuals will do when you want a subtle look.
3 – Avoid drinking too much
This one is a no-brainer. You need to know your drinking limit. While it is entirely possible to down a glass or two when you’re enjoying the conversation, you should be mindful of the amount of alcohol you’re taking in.
Stay sober so you can listen to what your date has to say. It will also keep you from crying over the table when you’re rambling about a horrible childhood experience.
While there’s no problem in having a cocktail or two to loosen up your nerves, you should stay in control at all times.
2 – Payment should not be an argument
Gone are the days when it was chivalrous for a man to pay the bills. In today’s modernized world, the check should be split between the two of you. However, in cases where you cannot come to a mutual agreement, you should let your date pay the bill, but offer to pay the tip.
Also remember that as a common courtesy, you should offer to pay the full amount too because even though your date wouldn’t agree to it, it’s the proper thing to do.
1 – Be yourself
Finally, being yourself is all that matters when you’re wrapping up the conversation, contemplating how it went, and heading over to your car.
Be honest throughout because you won’t be able to hold up pretenses if the relationship gets a chance. Trying to impress someone with who you are is different from pretending to be someone you’re not.
As you become more and more used to someone and mature with them, your bad habits begin to come out as well, and this is why you should stick to portraying your true self.
The first date is the start of a budding relationship. It’s where you find out if you’re compatible with someone and if you share enough likeness for things to move forward. Use this list of essential things you need to know about your first date, so you’re well prepared for what comes ahead.
Good luck, and happy dating!
By Ashley Rosa
Ashley Rosa is a freelance writer and blogger. Writing is her passion and that is why she loves to write articles related to the latest trends in technology and sometimes on health-tech as well. She is crazy about chocolates. You can find her on twitter: @ashrosa2.